Me, myself n i.

Well, aft a pretty tiring x'mas n eve. I spent the whole sat at home. Sleeping, reading, cooking, tellying, simply put, just spending alone time with myself. And when finally i have some cravings for B.J lamE chop, my pri sch's sec's sch's pri sch's friend is already there enjoying and leaving soon with his friends. I ended up stuffing myself with bacons, strips and strips of them. All left from the supposely x'mas eve dinner.


Dear godfather's wife's godson, when are you coming over to carry those bottles of softdrinks back. Noone is going to drink them if u leave them here. And how about the bag of potatoes, they will be spouting soon u know..


Was watching Natnal Geo earlier on and there was a show on the ppl living in the Atlantic. I suddenly remember of one GP lesson in my JC where the teacher was asking us of our dreams and what we want to do. She asked me and i said i wanted to watch the sun rise/set in the North/South Poles as i'd seen frm discovery channels these images before, where the snow turns pink when the rays fall on them. And you know what that GP teacher said, 'theres no sun in the poles, they live in complete darkness.' I was like "huh? Are you sure you are qualified as a teacher?" Pls, everyone shld know tt there are mths where the sun disappear during the winter but there are also period where the sun resurface.. Goodness.. No wonder i hated my JC. Anyway, one of my wish is to visit the poles and catch the sunrise/sets as well as the auroroa. Well, one summer i shall do that. Before i turn 4o i hope.


Anyway, back to x'mas. This x'mas i spend it w friends i knew 7 yrs back. Some old pals frm Melacca came down on very late notice and everything was rushly planned. Resulting in a lot of last min changes. Say, we were suppose to have dinner at my place but it was changed to dinner at Riverside Point's Indonesian Restaurant.

River sence at Clark Quey. Taken w shaky hands.

Den a drink at Brewerkz. My second time there though. First was w Erica n FangMin when we came back. We had the beer during lunch hour and it was real cheap like say $3 or $4 only. We were jobless at that time and it was a hot hot day, hence the beer. (Tts bullshit. Erica was there. Why else do u think we were in a brewery.) :)


Beer.

yh acting cool in Brewerks. A bit of Jay Chou feel rite?..

The friends frm Melacca.

Happy X'mas.


Us & X'mas tree..


Anway, when the clock strike twelve, we were on the train heading home. I'd always wondered how it will be like in the train during a countdown. I thought tt ppl will be wishing each other Happy uknowwat, the train operator will wish the passengers a happy watever or maybe the train will give a loud horn or something to mark the arrival of a special occasion. But NOPE. Nobody realised that it was 12 untill the smses came in. It was a SILENT NIGHT.

1201 (By yh)

Mine n His



We went back to my place, bath and cooked supper. Our supposedly dinner. The chicken drumstick was nt up to stdn. The taste didnt went in. Erica suggested using sour cream instead of light sourcream next time. Super disappointed.



yonghui panfried the prawns tt he peeled and boiled the night before and FORCED me to eat them. They are not that bad actually. But i'm still nt completely over my fear of prawns. Shall see hw it goes. I'm still nt enjoying them as much as i enjoy the rest of the food i eat. Still suffers from the uneasy, quessy kinda feeling after eating them.



Slept at around 5am tt day on the sofa due to my 'guai pi'. Woke up, shower, brunch, den down to city again. Till 7pm den back to wdl for a bdae celebration. Maybe due to the wine and the day's activities i was dead before 11pm. The red wine was nt bad though it was kindly spicy at first. But it goes ok with chocolates. No complains. YH came to get something and suan bian drives me back as theres some stuff for him to pick up at my place. I was sound asleep aft a shower. Finally, the bed is all mine.



Thats all for my x'mas.

G*Ys

Nice pict of Cheryl by yh.


Den it was work, work, work till last nite. We had a different kinda friday nite. We had a matchmaking session. Haa.. Believe it or not. That was what it was all about.



Several days ago, i changed my msn nick to 'I have a lovely princess to intro, any gentlemen interested?' It drew a couple of responses but all were eliminate except one. As my friend said he's introducing his friends who are the complete opp of him. That was why i accepted it. Anyway, i took my 2 princesses with me to meet him and his 2 friends. At first i thought tt it was gonna be funny but den when he intro his friend i became self concious. I started thinking "What am i doing? Am i that desperate?" Gosh.. This is not good. Its not his friends. It was just me. Realisations set in. I'm getting old and i cant believe that i'm actually doing this. On the other hand, we can think of it as a get-to-know-more-friends dinner. It was fun lar. But upon thinking about it now, hw much more weird can it gets? Gosh, is this the real world or wat.



Shit, what is this....

367 days ago..

What will you say if i tell you that i want you?

I'll never know

Because i'll never say.

***

Yr 07 will be gone in a couple more days. This yr had been a ..... .... ....... theres no words to describe how i felt.

Good and bad.

Happy and sad.

Ups and downs.

Home and away.

As the year draw to a close, i started reminiscing on the months that i'd been thru.

The difficulties of settling back, fitting into the family. The rows and crying fits and accusations that i'd endured. Like a stubborn bull, i'm still unwilling to bow. The wishes i made to the first stars hoping that i can be back at where i was.

The adjustments to the changes. My room, my life and my friends. Coming back to not two but three and even more. Trying to make up for lost time and lost emotions and learning that once gone, its gone forever. The empty space i left had been replace with else better. I wasnt the only one adapting to me being back, everyone elses' close to me were too. Fun times are not that fun anymore. Sometimes i really cant help but think that life may be better for all if i wasnt back.

The time i wish i'd have and not have. The jobs i took up hence leading to my current position. Life's a stage. Who wld had guess that i wld end up here? The tears of stress and the enjoyment of freedom. If it wasnt for my 1st, i wld not have appreciate my current. The panic i felt when finding a job became a chore, the encouragement i received when nagged and pulled to job agencies, the joy i felt when i know that i will be jobless no more. All these emotions are long gone but yet to be forgotten.

Everything i have, i encountered, i endured, i thank all who made them possible. Because this way, i know that i was, still am, alive and breathing.

If i'm a christian, i may say "Thanks Lord."

If i'm a buddist, i may say "Karma."

Being me, i said " No comments."

Dear friend.

As i were telling you just now, you were there when i needed you most. Thats why after all these years, you are still so precious a friend to me. Maybe to you its nothing, but to me, that few hours tt you accompany me on the bus ride really matters a lot to me, even to this day.

When noone was there, you were. Thats why.

Thats why i always feel that theres alway you to fall on when all else fails. Just dun be too busy for me when i next needed you most.

I had a good time this year, believe it or not.

Merry Christmas to you!

Its xmas eve.

Been back for a day and had been slacking infront of the comp. Shall post the details of my trip when i'm more in the mood for it. Overall, its a good trip. Relaxing and nice. Found a couple of treasures along the streets. Been bullied. Believe it or not, yes. By txy. She kept making fun of me. REPEATEDLY! Saw a cute and shy guy. Haa... Thats about it for now.

Anyway, its going to be a tiring holiday for me this xmas and i thought i will be spending it alone. Looks like theres no time for alonetime. Maybe during NewYear.. Maybe..

I still dislike cwp on sunday nite. I just cant take it. Why are there so many ppl everywhere doing everything and anything possible. Why are there so many ill mananered kids running around who doesnt know how to apologise. I HATE CHILDREN. Dogs are so much more well behaved.

Anyway, in case i do not have the time to come online, MERRY CHRISTMAS everyone! I love you all. I dun believe in monetary presents. My love is the best gift possible!

Cheers ppl.

Tis e season to get drunk n high.


I HATE X'MAS!

This wkend

I'm leaving for Melacca in approx 9hrs time. Will be gone for 3D2N. Staying in Hotel Equatorial. Anything, call them and ask for txy. She booked it. Otherwise, u can try calling my hp. Shld have recep there..

If its about food request, sms lar.

Nope, its nt flooding over there. Anyway, i can swim and float. And i will nt look aft txy. She can swim herself. heh..

Yup, my bag is still nt packed. My feet are almost swollen due to excessive walking and kena kicked by a running hog. Damn..

I'm tired and i wanna sleep.. Nite folks..

我怀念的

我问为什麼　那女孩传简讯给我　

而你为什麼　不解释　低著头沉默

我该相信你很爱我　不愿意敷衍我　

还是明白你已不想挽回什麼

＊想问为什麼　我不再是你的快乐　

可是为什麼　却苦笑说我都懂了

自尊常常将人拖著 把爱都走曲折　

假装了解是怕　真相太赤裸裸

狼狈比失去难受

＃我怀念的是无话不说　我怀念的是一起做梦 　

我怀念的是争吵以後　还是想要爱你的冲动 　

我记得那年生日　也记得那一首歌 　

记得那片星空　最紧的右手　最暖的胸口 　

(谁记得)　谁忘了

Repeat ＊,＃

我怀念的是无言感动　我怀念的是绝对炽热

我怀念的是你很激动　求我原谅抱得我都痛

我记得你在背後　我记得我颤抖著

记得感觉汹涌　最美的烟火　最长的相拥

谁爱的太自由　谁过头太远了　

谁要走我的心　谁忘了那就是承诺

谁自顾自地走　谁忘了跟著我　

谁让爱变沉重　谁忘了要给你温柔

(我怀念的)　我还有想要爱你的冲动

我记得那年生日　也记得那一首歌

记得那片星空　最紧的右手　最暖的胸口

我放手　我让座　假洒脱　

谁懂我多麼不舍得

太爱了　所以我　

没有哭　没有说

Nt feeling too good tonite..

I have 3 fairly big and red pimples on my face. All equally spread out. I was in a bad mood last wk. Make a guess. No prizes thou.

Not feeling happy. Depressed.

Heard the dedication just now. Thanks you so much, ji shi che. It feels like he had a hard time pronouncing the names. The 'ying' sounds weird. I like the song. Brought back many memories. I can still see him strumming the guitar, singing the song, facing her. We have come a long way. Ups and downs. I'm glad we are still within reach, physically and emotionally. Nothing beats a good buddy like you! Thank you! I hope you are having a much better nite!

For the past few months, you guys may have notice that i'd been screaming 'I want out' several times. Can i? Should i?

When i'm tired and dun even want to try, can i, shld i, give up?

When i'm not happy anymore and i dread it, can i, shld i, give up?

When i know that voicing out my feelings will either be deem as being petty or be ignored and forgotten, can i, shld i, give up?

When we all know that next yr, it will be a decade, can i, shld i, give up?


I know i shld treasure what i have got. I know i will regret it once i lost it. But sometimes, it just doesnt matter anymore..

Another friday nite..

Its been a while since i'm home so early on a friday nite. Been out doing stuff for e past 3 wks and today, its home sweet home.

Went to meet my ex hse mate for dinner just now. We had dinner at Phin's steak house which is situated along Liang Seah Place. He had snapper, i had lamb (I know, AGAIN) cutlet flown in frm NZ. I do not know bout his fish but my lamb is really great. Its one of the best i had so far. No 'sao' smell and its really tender. yummy.. And the price is really reasonable. About $15 for it. Next time, i'm gonna try the steak.

Anyway, it was fun chatting with my ex hsemate. He listens and comments and he's funny. He was telling me about his current hsemates and all the shit things that had happened to him. I told him 'Its only because of all these will you learn to appreciates me.' Haa.. He didnt comment to that. Just respond with a -_-!!! face, which says a lot of things. He did send me 2 photos of his current situation in Sydney Road and i shall be evil and post it here.. hahah... I scared him with stories of my jumping maggots and i hope he will be mentally prepared for it. Oh well, thats life abroad. Its frustrating when you experience it but years down the road, when you look back and think on it, it had become a comedy. Part and parcels of life..

The current state of my ex room..
The current state of the kitchen stove..
What MY room looks like
My study table, which is cluttered but not messy..

I went to have lunch with my ex-colleagues on wed. We agreed to meet at 1pm. In the end they arrive at only 1.30pm. I need to return to the office by 2pm. I was already prepared for their lateness as i was able to understand that. But sometimes i cant help but wondered. Is it really that bad or is it just the attitude? I mean, for them and me(was) we were always late for meeting up with friends hence causing the friends to wait for sometimes an hour or two. Some even stood up their dates as they were too caught up with work. Now looking back, was it worth it? Work is not all that. Just because you have work to do, doesnt means that you can make those who are free wait for you. Just feel that its not worth sacrificing your life for work. Theres a limit to how much one should dedicate to work and when work has step over the point, you shld know when to stop. No point getting all these bonus and acknowledgements when back home, your family dun even bother asking if you will be coming back for dinner. That just sucks.. Anyway, i'm over it. And i'm glad I'M OUT OF IT.

Today at work, i received an email rgdg a quary i'd raised. It was the first time i emailed the recipent.

His reply greatly insulted me.

"Hi Yan Thing, ...."

Damn... I'm not just a THING lor.. At least he didnt have typo in the my first name. It wld be lot worse if he typed " Any Thing". I think i will kill him!

Another little thought running round my head..

During lunch today, one of my colleague shared with us something he heard/learnt from his ex-boss.

His ex boss, in his late forties told him that a couple should get married aft 2 yrs of courtship if both are serious about each other, then spend the rest of their lives trying to live with each other. He believes that there is no perfect match in this world, just how well one can adpat to another.

Quite true i reckon. Instead of spending time searching for the perfect one or being in a never ending dating r/s, might as well take the next step when the time is ripe and learn to live with each other from then on.

Compromise may be the word.

But that that can only happen when based on the assumption that there wont be a change of heart in either party.

Damn.. I shld stop thinkin bout things like this..

******

May be getting a dog next jan. Aft x'mas (so they will not mark up the price!) But i'm still not sure on the breed. Maltese, GR, Bichon, West Highlander white terrier or any breed that melts me.. I still miss my mystery guest as well as my friend's cousin's bf's dog who was in tassie and currently in melb.

Happy Birthday to mi blog..

Was reading e first few entires of this blog when i realised that today it turns 2. Well, nothing much to say bout it. There are a couple of differences frm then to now. Still, somethings didnt change.

What had changed and what not, is up to you to decide and me to percive.

************

I'm still in a foul mood aft the chewy chocolate sundae frm Swenson. Thinking of NYDC chocolate cheesecake now..

I feel like crying.

B-O-R-I-N-G...

On thursday, my colleague asked me what i'll be doing over the weekend. I pounder for a long while, in the end i couldnt think of anything that i will be doing this weekend. She was slightly surprise as for the past week i had been meeting friends almost every day for dinner or dance or just to go home and yet when its the golden period of the week, i have nothing to do.

In the end, i spend my saturday lazing at home. Woke up at 12pm, lunch, national geographic, channel u den nap before i leave for cwp to have dinner with tyl n cheryl.

Upon reaching there, i was pissed by the sight i see. There are humans everywhere. Big and small, young and old. And almost everyone is screaming or yelling. Its a human zoo. Every few steps i took i have to pause because of someone sudden change of path or some idiot just decided to cut into my path suddenly, or some smart alex suddenly decided to stop by some window display, ignoring whoever was behind them. Damn. I was super pissed. Why does it have to be so crowded, even up on the mountain? Why dun those human just flock to the city? Finding a place for dinner was hard because theres a queue almost everywhere. Luck just wasnt with us when Mac's ice cream machine wasnt working. We cant even have a sundae. argg.... Not in a good mood obviously. I want somewhere with no human except my friends and me. We even need to queue and wait for Botak Joes at woodgrove. At least its not tt crowded over there.

After dinner, it was home again. I learn something yesterday. You can install a celling light in the car and it really makes the car a lot brighter.

:D

------------
Just to share with you, an email tt i received..


Would you like to know if your mobile is original or not?!

Press the following on your mobile *#06# and the-international mobile equipment identity number appears check the 7th and 8th numbers.

IF the digit number Seven & Eight is 02 or 20 that mean it was assembled in the Emirates which is very Bad quality

IF the digit number Seven & Eight is 08 or 80 that means it was manufactured in Germany which is not bad

IF the digit number Seven & Eight is 01 or 10 that mean it's manufactured in Finland which is Good

IF the digit number Seven & Eight is 00 that means it was manufactured in original factory which is the best Mobile Quality

IF the digit number Seven & Eight is 13 that means it was assembled in Azerbaijan which is very poor quality and potentially very dangerous to your health!


Mine is 00, believe it or not. Which means that its the BEST mobile quality. So those who had been poking fun at my poor LG, you better think twice, no.. thrice because mine is a 3G phone ok.. Dun pray pray ah..

The conclusion so far:
LG - 00
Sony Ericson - 01/10

Things tt make me happy..

Still the same sentence, thank you Mr Peng, for making us so happy!


More picts frm The Line.

Erica n me before starting..

Erica n oysters.. but.. with chopsticks?? A bit wrong hor..

Me w oysters... eating it the right way.. haha..

Xueli with oysters.. prawns, crab n mussels

Cheryl with oysters.. eating them the hot way..

2 super happy ladies ah..
2 satisfied ladies..

2 contended ladies..

4 of us, with untuck shirts n busting pants..

After dance, still so happy..

tgif tmr..

Today work till very late.. Finally left the office at 7.30pm. haa... In e past i wld be smiling my head off if i can get to leave at tis timing but nw, i was really tired..

Received an email from an ex colleague so shall share with all of u... cause a few of my friends n i find it quite true..

Note: Words in brackets are own comments.

LIBRA - The Harmonizer Nice to everyone they meet. (But nt as nice aft knowing them) Can't make up their mind. (Super me!) Have own unique appeal. (In other words, ecentric) Creative, energetic, and very social. Hates to be alone. (Nt completely true) Peaceful, generous. Very loving and beautiful. Flirtatious. (hmm..??) Give in too easily. (yeah.. i'm nice ma) Procrastinators. (look at e state of my room n u will know) Very gullible. (i'm like hw innocent lor)

A few others..

VIRGO - The Perfectionist
Dominant in relationships. Conservative. Always wants the last word. Argumentative. Worries. Very smart. Dislikes noise and chaos. Eager. Hardworking. Loyal. Beautiful. Easy to talk to. Hard to please. Harsh. Practical and very fussy. Often shy. Pessimistic.

SCORPIO - The Intense One
Very energetic. Intelligent. Can be jealous and/or possessive. Hardworking. Great kisser. Can become obsessive or secretive. Holds grudges. Attractive. Determined. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Romantic. Can be self-centered at times. Passionate and Emotional.

ARIES - TheDaredevil
Energetic. Adventurous and spontaneous. Confident and enthusiastic. Fun. Loves a challenge. EXTREMELY impatient. Sometimes selfish. Short fuse. (easily angered.) Lively, passionate, and sharp wit. Outgoing. Lose interest quickly - easily bored. Egotistical. Courageous and assertive. Tends to be physical and athletic.

CANCER - The Protector
Moody, emotional. May be shy. Very loving and caring. Pretty/handsome. Excellent partners for life. Protective. Inventive and imaginative. Cautious. Touchy-feely kind of person. Needs love from others. Easily hurt, but sympathetic.


How true do u find them???

Too free..

Sigh.. Its only 10pm and it felt like i'd been home for ages.. It will take some time getting use to it.. Haa... damn xiao zhang.

Theres talk of going Sydney next Apr w a couple of friends. Hence i went to check the air ticks just now. Gosh.. I didnt expect it to be so ex.. On average, it cost bout 1k for each person for a return ticket. Almost the same cost to fly to Melb and i thought tt melb is further away.. Sigh..

To go or nt to go? So many other places tt i wanna go. Say, Taiwan, HK, China, Vietnam, Fiji, Tahiti, Europe and most imptly, my aim is to visit Greece before i turn 30. I'm getting old...

Need to start saving liao.. I needa teach tuition!!

Totally exhausted..

Gt back frm ECP this morning at 11am. Was so so tired that i fall asleep frm 12 till 7.30pm. And i just wanted a nap. In the end, i fall into a deep deep sleep. ONly cld rememeber that i was eating almond paste in the dream in somewhere like Malaysia. haa.. I was hungry ma.. No lunch lei..

Nw, aft dinner (the only forces that cld get me up frm bed), i cld feel my whole body aching. My arms, tights, butt especially, neck n back. Must be due to all the pushing into the sea tt gt me aching. N the bike torturing session by the lion who is younger than me. I thought getting a double bike can let me relax more in the end, i was so so wrong. I learn to depend on myself now.

Luckily the weather was good last nite, as in nt too cold and no rain hence surviving the nite was nt a big problem. Just that there was no place for a real good sleep. But well, this is camping ma..

Several times last nite, i felt like activating Mr Foo's offer but i have a strong feeling tt he will kill me when he knows tt the help needed is just for me to go home sleep on my big comfy bed. Because the way he treats my friends are much better den the way i was treated by him.. humf.. unfair..

This is my first time camping experience at ECP. Which is actually quite fun. I used to find those ppl 'wu liao' for having nothing better to do. But nw, i think differently. Because having ur own camp in ur own space over there, u can do anything u want. There is noone to disturb you or watsoever. You really can do things at ur own pace.

Like say, after pitching of tents, playing in the sea, bathing using the nearby facilities, having a BBQ in Al tray, den procedding to the nearby pubs for a bottle of iced Hoegarden while enjoying the Newcastle vs Liverpool match at the large screen tv. Well, this is a nice way of relaxing. With Hoegarden of course. N who knows when you will get to win a burger or two..

Maybe 1 wkend where i feel like waking up to the melody of the waves rolloing up the shore, i shld.

*******
Went to watch Enchanted on fri nite (finally) w a weird collection of ppl. Ppl frm all walks of life. A pri sch friend, a sec sch friend n a uni mate. All 4 of us together. And surprising, i had a great time. haa.. Because i got to drive home frm Kallang.. First time Jul sat in a car driven by me. Haa.. I think she had fun. heee

Enchanted was nice. Its a melting pot of Bollywood, Cinderella, Little Mermaid, Sleeping beauty, Snow white and thats about it. Its funny as in cartoonish funny. Mcdreamy still has dreamy looking eyes....A great show to relax to on a friday nite.

The next show i want to watch will be 'Good Luck Chuck', 'P.S, I love you', maybe 'Two days in Paris' and another movie by one of the cast of Greys '27 dresses'.

Yeah.. Cant wait.

The world today...

Its amusing sometimes, not in the happy funny sense but more in the depressing element.

I was suppose to be watching Enchanted today but as things wasn't finalised, aeroplane flew by. Since i'd told my dad this morning that i wont be home for dinner, i started to find friends to have dinner with. I tried one aft another aft another and noone was free. Believe it or not, i asked 4 paxs, my closest friends and non was free. With 2 on dates and 2 heading home for dinner.

In the end i have to settle for homecooked food. Not complaining here. Just that, sometimes when you wanna find someone to be with, you just cant. Everyone with the highest chance of being free, is not. 3 out of 4 are singles and they are just not free. And when i'm not free and going out, i have ppl from everywhere asking me out. Its funny how life is, isn't it.

This is not the first time that had happened to me and i bet it wont be the last. Times when i feel the loneliest, i cant find anyone. Times when i'm just too tired and want a break from the spinning earth, everyone wants me.

I know i'm not the only one facing this but well, just have to live with it.

Yesterday while lunch-ing with my colleagues, one was telling us of this email that had been circulating banks(i presume). Its about this lady who blogs on her life with an unfaithful husband.

The story roughly goes like this..

This lady is expecting her first child and is currently about 8mths pregant, couple mths back, her doting and loving husband changed job to a bank in ORQ and went overseas for 3 wks to undergo training. When he came back, he was a changed man. He wants time to himeself, leave his home at night which he never did before he left. Let his wife takes public transport when shes pregnant where before he left, he always drive her around and refuse to let her travel on PT.

The lady soon found out the reasons for his changed behaviour. The three wks he was away, he came to knew of another female colleague who had recently ROMed. The latter was in her mid twenties, the male was in his early thirties. They are now together.

He divorced the lady for his new love when the lady is already couple of mths pregnant with his child. They knew each other since poly, went overseas together for uni, renovated their new aptm, look forward to their first baby.

8 years of relationship all gone after a 3 wks trip.

She mentioned that he told her that he's sick of her crying whereas he's weak when his new one cries. She mentioned that he accused her for forcing him to have the baby. She mentioned that him leaving her all alone at home was to go meet up with his new love. She mentioned that her having to take PT home alone was so that he can go fetch his new love in their car.

After reading 2 posts from her blog which was paste in the email, i really do not know how i feel.

Like, whos at fault? Can we point finger at anyone here? Of course the recently ROMed young thing seems like the bitch in the picture and the husband is the irresponsible jerk. But if you look from their point of view, are they not the victims too?

What if, they are actually meant for each other, just that the timing was too late?

What if after all that they have been thru, couple of mths down the road aft putting down everything they once had, they realised what a big mistake they had made and by then, its too late for regret.

There are so many what ifs, and any can possibly happens.

So, how shld anyone actully feels toward this situation?

1. Shld the guy stop his new fling or shldnt even start one when he knows that he's married, his wife is pregnant, the girl is engaged even when he feels that shes the one for him at that moment?

2. Shld the young thing control her emotions, lust or greed(watever) and stayed away from him when he knows that he's a married man and she herself with a man waiting for her back in sg?

Shld they? Or shld they not?

I'm really confuse with the world today. Whats the point of getting married when the rate of divorce is shooing thru the roof?

Why are ppl having affairs everywhere? Its not just happening in dramas where the males are rich and powerful while the mistress are pretty slim things who wants nothing but money. I've seen/heard of newly weds not reaching 2 yrs of their married lives fooling outside, couples having children or already have youngsters in the family as well as older couples with children whom are already in colleages. Why is all this happening?

I'd asked a couple of guy friends this qn, 'Will you ever fool around after you are married?' And more than often, their ans is yes. And the reasons they gave are 95% similar. 'If my wife can't satisfied me, i will. If my wife works too much and not have enough time for me, i will.' Are these reasons enough to cover up for their misdeeds?

So does that means that if the husband cant satisfied the wife, she shld go out and find someone who can? Does that also means if the male works too hard n too much for the family, the wife shld find someone who can spend time with her? What kinda logics are these anyway?

When the husband have affairs, they blame it on the wives. Did they even try to talk things out with their wives? Did they ask for their opinions? Did they try to understand each other? Most imptly, did they even communicate?

Really, whats the point of getting married if you can't stay married for long. How den can we put a stop to failling relationships? How can we get both parties to love unconditionally? How can we prevent feelings frm going away? How can we stop making empty promises?

Where does love goes when it disappear? Is there another place where it will be at, waiting for you to collect it once again?

During one of my down periods, i have a friend who always accompany me when i asked. He once told me, ' He who lost you, lost more than what you have lost.' He latter explained, ' You lost a person who loves you no more, whereas he lost someone who loves him much. Hence he lost more than you.'

I wasnt able to understand that sentence then as i was hurting a damn lot. But now i can. N frm time to time, i use it to console myself, to remind myself how fortunate i was and i am because i'm not the biggest loser.

Thank you for bringing me to ECP and giving me the wish that you 'catch' with your bare hand. Most imptly, thanks for being there when i needed someone and i know you are still here, just a couple of blocks away, a msg away.

Breakie someday? With moo moo?

Fear not Serene(if u ever read this), he's nt my cup of tea. I'm more interested in you... ;p

The world today...

2 more days to e wkends..

Went to watch Stardust yest w Jul n XY at CWP. Haa.. It feels good to be able to catch a movie aft work. Cheaper rates furthermore. Anyway, stardust was magically fantastic. Wow.. The two hours flew by like a shooting star. I wont mind watching it another time, becaause its really good!!

Third day of work today and today was the latest i left the office (so far) at 6.30pm. hahaha... This feels good!

May be watching enchanted tmr.. heee...

I'm turing to magically fantasy nowadays.. Dun ask me why.

Come sat and i will be spending my wkend at ECP w my beloved younger ones.. Hee.. Hope tt it wont rain. hmm.. i shld bring my gastic pills.. hmm.. Hw bout my sleeping bag? Will i be able to catch the sunrise? Lets see hw den...

First day..

Started my first day today. My official working hours is frm 8.30am to 5.30pm. I left my place at 7.45am which is obviously very late. When i reach the office, i sms my sup asking her where i'm suppose to go, she said i need to attend induction as thats the way things go for all employees. The induction starts at 9am. '_' I was early..

After sitting there with abouth another 80+ ppl from 9am till 1pm, my butt was aching as in seriously sore frm sitting. I finally was 'released' frm the ceromony, went to collect my pass den went to find my sup.

She told me that they had just came back from lunch. '_' .. I was hungry like hell.. So i went to have lunch alone as my ex-colleages were already eating nearby and i do not want to join ALL of them. I had BK ALONE in MS. I found out that if i were to eat alone, BK will be my first choice out of all the fastfood. My single mushroom swiss.. Which is so hard to pronouce for me.. I have no idea why..

Anyway, went back to office aft meal, 2.30pm, work till 6pm and yeah!! We left the office together. Hahaa... Super shoick. The skies were still bright when we came out of the tunnel.

Came back in time for 'lao po da ren', bath and dinner, n nw, extra time to slack.. muhahaha...

I hope good times (= bad market) last forever....

My last post in my current workplace..

Well, wk flies.. Just like this, another 3wk plus had gone. I went to my new workplace to sign a contract just now. Come Jan and i'll be their perm.. Startg as contract first next fri.

Come to think of it, it will take me one yr since grad to find a perm job. Quite pathetic isnt it. Considering the fact tt the mkt is rather good this yr.

Oh well, looking on the bright side, it means tt i have another yr of break more than others..
*****
Just got back frm lunch. A more senior colleague treated another temp n me to lunch at a nearby restaurant that sells good cheesecake. We shared a marsmallow chocolate cheesecake for dessert and the choco is really rich n smooth. Its not too sweet too. Nt bad.

*****

Just came back frm dinner n a drink at Eskibar w some colleagues. Well, guess thats the end of my journey with them for now. As the banking industry is rather small, i wont be surprise that someday i will be working along them again.

Have uploaded some picts i took today..

My little corner..
The temp-ers @ Eskibar.

Toto..

Inmy previous wkplace, we have a Toto Queen who always know when the big draws are coming. Then she will inform us and so that she can go queue during lunch for her quickpick. I thought she was unique, till i gt here.

Last wk, i was invited to participate in a small short term investment. Yupe, a toto - pool. Each of us can contribute any amount and the sum will be used to buy toto.

In the end, we have a total of $30.50 hence they went to buy a system roll ($20), 3 quick pick x system 7 ($3.50 each). I contributed $2.

Yesterday, i was given $3.90. My winnings. We won 4 numbers being 04, 08, 38 and 39. Well, its a 95% return. Haa... My first wining. Maybe its because we got a girl who had never buy before, her first time, to make the purchase. Haa.. Beginners' luck..

Does this happens in other places too?

Time: 11:11

Frm a korean drama, i learned that if it shows 11:11 on a clock when you look at it, it means that someone is thinking of you.

Is it true?


I'm sinking into depression again.


When will you start to listen? If you dun, is there any point for me to talk? When i stop, do you think we shld still be friends? 'Instead of thinking turns talking, why dun we communicate?' When will you ever realised that this statement is meant for you n i?


How can two person so different yet have so many similar incidents happened to them at different periods? Just because they have the same horoscope? Does the moon, stars and planets really play an important role in determining our lives? I really can't help but wonder.

Get me out..

Worlds Singles Day was yesterday.

Now i understand why nobody knows that it was WSD yest. I read bout it frm my SDU magz and today i went to find out more on this unique day.

Its a day tts only celebrate in China you see.. (No wonder lor..) I found this article which explains the origin, the celebrations and the way this day is commonly spend. Now it explains why there were so many weddings yesterday. (To date, i'd heard of 5)

Now, come to think of it, my 090909 plan seems MissionImpossible, so maybe i shld postpone it to 111111. Haa... Give myself more time.. rubbish..

The only constant in life...

Another powerful line i kept hearing recently is 'The only constant in life is changes.' In other words, everyday, everything is changing.

I may be changing my job soon. Again. I know. But this may be the last change for a long time, say the next 2-3 yrs.

TXY, we might be able to go Bintam in Dec liao.. heeee..

I feel so guilty. Lies building upon lies. Gosh.. Help me!

Metro will be having a sale of 20% discount on selected items frm today till sunday. SO go shop nw!!

hmm

Went dinner & drinking w some of the new colleagues on wed nite. The initial plan was to go to some nice cosy wine bar and open a bottle of red but we ended up at Alley bar aft dinner. No wine.

I had my usual Diaquri, apricot this time and i cant taste any alcohol. Serious. After that round, we went to Ice Cold Beer for a round on beer. We had Stella Artois. It was alrite at first taste but after more than half a glass, it started to taste bitter. yicks.. not good when it was drunk for punishment.

Anyway, that nite, i didnt have as much a fun time as i had when i'm with my drinking bros. As there are still some slight discomfort with drinking with ppl i dun noe very well. Just dun dare to let it all out and drink. But well, it is entertaining to be out drinking with different grps of ppl. So, thats that.

*Updates* I've no motivation in going to work now. See if u know what i mean ;(

I forgot...

I forgot to bring my phone to work.. AGAIN

So, i wont be able to reply any sms or calls today.

Just back frm Subaru challenge

wow.. just had my bath and nw relaxing on e edge of my bed, trying to message my poor feet. As promised, i went down to accompany contestant 218 at car6 for her third night. Different feelings wash over me during the short 7 hours i spend there.

At first it was heartache for her. Seeing her in that trance like behaviour. Its funny at times to hear her speak but dangerous and heart stopping else. Den it was my own tiredness. I was only there for 7hrs plus, being able to lean on the fence, walk around and such but i'm already tired. What about her? Being there for 50 over hrs. Den it was worry. Is her body able to take it? Is her mind able to take it? Den it was pride. I'm proud of her to still be standing after 60hrs, to still not even think of giving up. Her stamina was amazing. I really do not know wat to say for this yr female contestents. Because several are still going strong and i seriously hope that they do not need to endure another nite.

Her bro and uncle spend her last 15 mins in the comp trying to persuade her to drop out. The reason for this is because the other contestants are simply too strong and very well prepared so it will be better that she fall out herself instead of being carried out. Her final reason for staying in this comp is because she didnt want to disappoint us but we all cld see that she is unable to take it anymore. Finally after much persuasion, she decided to walk away. Now, just let her rest and let it be.

To all those who are thinking of joining next yr challenge, one thing sincerly frm me to you, Dun expect me to be down there supporting u. Becaause i wont, anymore. My feets hurt.

changes in direction.

Hmm.. i do not know how to express my thoughts. I realised that my tenses are really bad now. Sometimes i wonder if i understand what i'm trying to say.

My title refers to my taste wrt guys. It was bad. But now, i think its a complete change. I used to like lean guys, but now i prefer guys with a bit of flesh to go around and hmm.. ok, not a complete change but change for a more mature look. Last time was geeks, now is stablility. Someone with a steady glaze and who will listen intently to what i'm saying as well as making sensible remarks instead of butting in before i can finish my sentence.

Wow, i'm getting old now. Or am i just seeking more attention?

And yes, i'd found some motivation in going to the office now. Heee... *blush blush*

Shall we dance?

We started a new dance yesterday. (Tues is dance nite) All along since our first lesson we had been learning ballroom dancing such as Foxtrot, Vienese Waltz and American Smooth. But yesterday we move on from gracious sweeping moves to lots of hips tilting.

Why hip tilting you may ask, reason is simply because i sucks. For one complete hour i were trying to move my hips the way i want it to. But unfortunately, it was unsuccessfully done. If there was any passerbys, I bet we wld definitely made their night.

Later last nite, one of the dance mates showed me a clip of the original version of the dance. I was shocked because I can never ever imgine myself doing that. Gosh. I was shocked beyond words. Take a look for yourself and try to picture me doing that. (Warning: Dun do this in the office as I reckon you will burst out laughing NON STOP)



After surfing and looking thru more clips, I feel that this is more achievable after a few more months of intensive buchata. But luckily, we will only be doing 2 lessons of it before moving on to rumba. Which, I have not search for in utube.



Now I can understand why Richard Gere danced in his office toilets in the movie Shall we dance. Because there is no other private places with large enough mirrors for us to practice. But dun think I will be caught doing tt. I will at least go to another level to try twisting my butt.

Just gt back from the pantry with my 2nd cup of milo. I have a feeling that I will have diabetics if I stay here for too long. Not that their drinks are overly sweet but because I prefer less sugar. I am sweet enough btw.

Lets make a comparison for a local bank vs a foreign bank pantry.

Here, we have 3 pantry on this level. In each pantry there is a drinks vending machine, hot water dispenser and a 3 temperature water cooler.

In a foreign bank, there is 1 pantry only. In the pantry, there are at least 3 different types of biscuits to choose from, 2 brand of green tea bags, a kind of chinese tea bag, milo tins, sugar n sweetener, Nescafe, brewed coffee and an espresso machine. Now lets move on to its fridge, there is soft drinks such as coke, sprite and jia jia herbal tea, there are packet drinks such as Yeos n Pokka green tea, white chrys tea, ribena, milo, milk and several more that I cant remember.

Here in local, they have chocolates to share and most imptly, yest the boss bought freshly baked eggs tarts for the team and I had 2. Because its warm and just fall apart in ur mouth. Yummy. But I still dun noe where he got it from. Sian.

Feel like my actual job is a food connoisseur. A spy to go everywhere to taste all kind of food. Haa.. I work not to work but to eat.

A powerful line

I was reading an article when i chance upon a phase which i thought is very powerful. Be prepared, here goes..

'Averages can be very misleading: like every story, every average has two sides.'

Well, do you want to know why i say this short little line is very powerful? Simply because, so many times in our lives, we have apply whatever ways n methods we know of to obtain an average to determine if the results is good or not. But in obtaining the average, we have forgotten the 2 sides which may be VERY good or VERY bad. We just thought tt as long as the average is good, we shld do it, buy it or sell it. But how many times in real life does the average actually occur.

We have actually forgotten that the average is just a figure that we have come out with ourselves and its not even a real sample from a population group. So, instead of finding an average next time, why dun we just randomly pick a sample from the whole population size that we have. At least the chances of occuring is nw 1/(population size) instead of N.A .

Yes i'n bored with nothing to do. Feel like quitting already. Cause.. i feel tt this is nt wat i shld be doing..

lalala...

Just back frm lunch.. I didnt noe tt Raffles Place has so many eateries.. I'll defintely be spoilt for choice.. Sure grow fat.. n i thought tt Suntec was good enough.. hee

Also, i have more ppl to meet for lunch instead of just the colleagues.. haa..

Sigh, nw tt i've started working, i feel like going for a holiday.. I wanna go to a nice sunny island with crystal clear water and glarmourous sunrise/sets.. Where n when??

fun, fun fun!!

I had a great time over the weekend. It had been so long since i was out till 3am and yet not have to give a damn on how i were to get home.

Let me start bragging on the fun i had..

Friday after work, i went for dinner with my ex colleagues at suntec. Along with another colleague who had left the coy, we waited for the other 3 from 7pm till 8.30pm. Den it was dinner, complains and laughter all the way till 11pm where the staffs at Fish & Co started sweeping the floor. Only den did we left the restaurant reluctanly.

After which, i went to a ktv pub near maxwell food mkt to look for 2 of my bros as its YC birthday. And yes, we managed to get him drunk and he was a happy man that nite. I didnt drink much that nite as i didnt want to get drunk infront of ppl that i do not know. I still need to maintain my image. hee..

Den on sat, after my tuition, i made my way to expo to participate in Wine of Asia with Erica. All thanks to Cheryl that we are able to get free ticks and drink to our heart content. Actually i did not drink a lot but i'm still nt a good drinker. They have wines frm Aust, NZ, Spain, Italy, France, Chile, Greece and some more. But they do not have any from Canada. I was hopping to get some free ice wine!!! haa.. damn cheapo.. But anyway, i was rather high to the point that my whole face was red and i started blabbering which cheryl witness a bit.

Aft we left the exhibition, Erica n i went to the MPH sale in another hall. There i bought several books. And i saw books that i'd bought going at a price of $11 each when i'd spend an average of $18 on them. eikks... sian diao. But well, life goes on.. So looking at a brighter side, i can buy other books nw.. hee..

I went to meet my pri sch buddies at mind's cafe for dinner n games. I really think tt ppl in the finance field is the most cunning of all (aka me). Twice i was mistaken for being the sabotager when i'm only the miner. Gosh, i was all innocent and nice and they have to mistaken me. sigh... what have i done to deserve this?

After 2 hrs of games, we went to play pool. yeah... Think this was the first or second time since i gt back this time round. Cld see that they were very bored playing w me because i really suck big time.. suck suck suck suck sucks.... i wanna remaster my missing skills.. argg...

We gt home at bout 2am and i slept all the way till 1.30pm sunday morning. causing me to be late for my 1.30pm tuition. Hence i had to postphone it to later. Aft which, i went for a BBQ feast at non other than the usual BBQ pit just that its with different people.

Now that i think about it, i feel a bit paiseh. I mean, how come i was so thick skin to just turn up at other people's family BBQ just to eat. Oh man, what have i become. Then immediately after eating, i make myself comfortable on their grey sofa and lie down. Gosh. This is so not right. I need to improve myself.

I shall improve on my pool skills.

I shall learn to not go to sleep immediately after i eat especially in other ppl's hse.

2nd day at work

2nd day at work. Endless cups of green tea frm the vending machine.

Life here is much more relaxed. Maybe its because of the task on hand are very basic stuff with no deadline. Hence i can take my time to do them, and even come online to compose a journal.


The ppl here are friendly and funny. They treat me to lunch just now. Felt so paiseh. Actually till now, working dun feel like working to me. I've always thought that working ppl are boring n such, but no, they are very much still like kids. Esp they guys. But well, i'm nt complainign as they provide entertainment.


I wonder hw long i will stay here. DUnr eally enjoy the work i'm doing nw as its pretty adminstrative but the other grp is looking for ppl so maybe, if i stay long enough i might get a chance. SHall see hw den.

mywatch

4 wks ago, while waiting for the dance gers for dinner at Raffles City, i saw a bracelet watch at a push cart outside the foodcourt. I didnt ask for its price as i predict that it will cost at least $60 due to its location. I place it back and walk around the shopping centre once more. While walking around i told myself that i will buy the watch if it cost $30++.

I found another push cart selling watches at the basement outside Marketplace. There i saw similar bracelet watches on sale at $15. I became happier and went upstairs to ask for the price.

It cost $35. Of course now i'm nt willing to pay $35 for a watch that is worth $15 or even lesser. I walk away once more.

Over the pass few weeks, i stoped at venders selling watches here and there but i wasnt able to find MYWATCH. I thought hard and long and after finding a bargain queen (or so i thought) i decided to bring her there to try my luck to see if she's able to cut the price to $25.

Once there, the salesgirl saw me holding MYWATCH and took another watch that looks similar yet different in all else. Different in the sense that its 'texture' is rougher, the quality is not as good, the hour and minute hand is just a black arrow and most importantly the price is $15.

Now, i'm willing to pay $35 for MYWATCH. So, i bought it.

One commented that she's surprised that i will like this kinda watch as its not me. But somehow, i find it beautiful.

Several times last nite, i held up my wist not to read the time but to admire my watch. And more than once, when i want to know the time, i was caught up by my watch's beauty and forgot bout the main purpose. Sigh.. Pretty.

I just read from my STU magz that 11th of Nov is World Singles Day. Haa.. frm where one?

I was suppose to start a temp assignment today at a local bank. But i had a headache the whole night and wasnt able to get much sleep at all. In the end, i request to start work tmr. Its an office job, underpaid. Thats all i will say. Sigh..

Reason for my headache will be more interesting. I blame it on heatiness. The dance class went for some dessert at Menotti after our lesson. Once there, we were informed that all dessert are 50% off its original price as it's after 10pm. Haa.. Heaven. We ordered a lot and share. Esp the soffiato. uhh.. powerful. Then there was the overdiluted torino (my fault) which still is heaty. Hence, the headache. Or maybe, i was just lazy. Argg... Work again. sian.

Cant smile without you

Maybe this will explain why i'm not smiling anymore...

**Cant smile without you**
You know I can't smile without you
I can't smile without you
I can't laugh and I can't sing
I'm finding it hard to do anything
you see I feel sad when you're sad
I feel glad when you're glad
if you only knew what I'm going through
I just can't smile without you

you came along just like a song
and brighten my day
who would of believed that you where part of a dream
now it all seems light years away

and now you know I can't smile without you
I can't smile without you
I can't laugh and I can't sing
I'm finding it hard to do anything
you see I feel sad when your sad
I feel glad when you're glad
if you only knew what I'm going through
I just can't smile

now some people say happiness takes so very long to find
well, I'm finding it hard leaving your love behind me

and you see I can't smile without you
I can't smile without you
I can't laugh and I can't singI'm finding it hard to do anything
you see I feel glad when you're glad
I feel sad when you're sad
if you only knew what I'm going through
I just can't smile without you



**

U'n arukk nuaaunf tiu ib rgua xiks xiks burw,

The other side

Spend my nite differently today.

Was with Jul and we went to Yogi Korean resturant along Mosque Street in Chinatown for dinner. After which being full, we went for a stroll along the long forgotten shophouses along tang ren jie.

The nite was beautiful with cooling breezes and the cresent hanging in mid dark skies.

All along i've been labelling Chinatown with the following words, 'Hot, humid, sweaty, old, crowded and noisy.' Along which, none of the phase is something i like. As a result, i've avoided this part of Singapore for an extremly long time. Not even bothering to visit this area even when i'm conducting my own annual Singapore tour. The most i will do is touch on its fringes for food, barely spending more than 2 hrs in this place.

But tonite, things are different. It was cool enough for a jalan jalan and with minimum people on the streets where mostly are tourists, Jul and i started a little walk around.

Chinatown tonight at 9pm will be termed 'quiet, peaceful, relax, cooling.'

We wonder from 3-for-$10 shops to clothing shops to 'Uniquely Singapore' shops to shops that sell almost all souveniers from APAC countries. Its fun looking at the items that are on sale, figuring out what are they, wondering who will pay such a price for them. They are not expansive i feel but still i assume that they will definitely mark up the prices to make a higher profit from the tourists.

Well, its another nite yet different. Wonder when will a nite as cooling as today comes along, and what will i be doing then?

why?

Why do i feel like i do not have any heartbeat?

Why is it that i do not know how to care for people?

Why wasnt i able to experience those warm heartmelting sensations anymore?

Why have sweet actions that friends or family done for me not bring a natural smile?



Hey, teach me the art of being human will you?

I do not want to feel like an ice queen.

I need out.

On mi birthday... 2007

Friday surprise party for TYX n me (28 Sept 2007)
********


The birthday cake.

Wishes making..
The libras.
The party.
Someone stealing the chicken wings!!!
The family
The kids
Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil.

Whats that on her face? Catfight.
Pokka green tea, the chicken eaters' first choice.
Even xiuyi wants to steal my Pokka Green tea.
*****

Actual day (30 Sept 2007)
****
BBQ chicken at Billy Bombers.

Satisfied.

They are not what it seems.. (Part1)

Their actual self toward each other (Part 2)

The four ladies.
Acting sweet.

Being bullied.. *sob*
My actual height..
Mi present frm xl.