Are you happy?

Am i happy now?

When asked this qn a couple of days ago, i thought long and hard, and sad to say, i was unable to come up with an ans.

I'm not unhappy but neither am i happy nor satisfied.

I just feel incomplete.

What do i actually want?

still searching..

here n there..

Why is it such that, sometimes i still find it hard to believe that i'm back for good?

***********

Happy birthday, Chicken Eater!!

Hope you like the surprise aka me..

Indeed we need two hands to clap..

So, lets clap together for the many joyful events that have yet to come..

Once again, Happy Happy sweet 24!!

My last 2 wkends..

Last wkend, my pri sch mates and i went to Minds' Cafe for a nite of bone snatching and train tracks laying. It was a different kind of outing for a change. I'm now more aware of the states of Europe. And, i miss the times when we would play board games after our end of yr exams while waiting for the hols to come in P sch..

Those were the days..

Time flies, we change, but some things will always stay the same..

13 yrs n counting..

He said that he's acting cool, i felt that he was too shy..

Can you feel the tension building..
Time for a short break..

This sat morning, mentoring had its dun-noe how many cooking competition. But for me, its a first. Finally, i was able to participate in this often mention never attened event.

My precious fews that matters lots to me.. (Frm left to right: yanxin, wei xiang, Leo, me, Laurence)

Another precious sweet one, Liwen.

Not as precious as those above, but my tutee who sometimes is able to say things that touched my little heart.

And now, work's back again..

The King and I

Just back from 'The King and I'.

It was good. The turnup was bad as in there are empty seats, lots. And surprisingly, most of the audience are Caucasians. But the musical was good though some cant really sing that well.. But it was funny. Esp the part when the SIAM king was with Anna and she was teaching him how to dance. The jealousy was nice. Haa.. The egoistic king and the 'unworthy woman' or so he label her. But i wld think that she's a smart woman..

Back to last wkend. Went to Muar on Thurs, KL on Fri n back to Sing on Sat. An adventure not to be forgotten. haa.. But it was a good trip. Was able to fully explore Muar on foot and it's actually quite safe and friendly. But thats not the case for KL. We were stalked!! For a while, till the stalker realised that he had been discover, hence he changed his path. We stay in a hotel which is a typical 'Hotel 81' kinda place as all other decent hotels had been booked out by the middle easteners. They are indeed everywhere in KL. gosh.. Their ladies have really sharp features. Big brown eyes and sharp noses. Pretty.

Finally met up with my Ah girl. It had been two yrs since i last saw her.. How she had grown up.. Not as carefree as before and with more responsibility on her shoulders. Time, it waits for no man. But i still miss her. It wld be another yr at least till i see her again. My special friend from Muar.

This time, we had Asam fish. A very unique place as you are able to choose your own seafood such as the prawns, sotongs, stingray, fish etc etc.. The assam wasn't spicy but more sour than normal but i like. And its smelly beans taste really fresh. I love its tofu most. Because it has a thin crispy layer on the outside and so soft on the inside.. yum yum...

Dinner was takeaway from 'tan chi jie'. Satays, otah, wan tan mee.. All eaten in the comfort of our hotel room. I bought some pulasan (the rambutan look alike fruit) home on the last day. And i do not know why it doesnt taste as good as it did in Muar. Maybe i shld go Muar to eat their fruits and not bring them back.

Took some picts of the sunrise 2 mornings ago.. It had been a while since i see such a sunrise as it was kinda hazy over the past few wks.

A close up. But not very close..

The reflection caught on windows.

Secret..

He was playing skillfully on the piano with his left hand.

She asked him, "Why do you like to play the piano with one hand?"
He replied, "So i can use the other to hold yours."

I gasp.

It is a beautiful show. And the make believe and the twist was totally unsuspected. The music pieces was enchanting. They make classical comes alive, fighting a war of it own. The storyline was romatic and about high school sweet love. A beautiful movie i shall say.

Just that, be prepared to watch it with lots of teenagers who doesnt noe how to keep quiet when the show has started nor know that there is a 'silent/mute' function for their cellphones.

Good show overall. Go watch it even if you are not a fan of Jay. But just want a sweet romance. I like it..

Also, make sure you can read either chinese charaters or english words as half the time, i do not know what he is saying.. As usual..

4.3 out of 5

'Happy Birthday Singapore'

Another wk..

It was all bull... Who said life will be better when the new perms are in? Bullshit... 2 new perms w experience joined us on monday and they are to be attached to the other grp!! Which has, 1.5 perm who had been working here for at least 1 yr n 1 contract staff where as our grp has 1 newer than me perm and 1.5 contract staff. Why dun they find some staff to join us to make our life better.. Damn it.. What were they thinking of... Too much.. Becoming unbalance again...

Went for a drink w the dance class today. Only 2 guys and 4 gers came today. It was alrite, getting stressed but still fun.. Funny as in we laugh at each other mistakes and postures.. And at ours too.. The drink was long awaited.. It was a good diaquiri. I was needing a drink for a long time and this came just in time. A bit of alcohol to lighten my life..

After that, 1 of the guy drove 3 of us gers back. And surprisingly, he didnt lose his way at all, you know. Not like what you also said. But he did memtioned that ur hse was hard to remember.. Dun noe hw true is it thou..

Anyway, fyi, i'm departing for Muar (AGAIN) this thurs to sat. Dun miss me too much..

Yes, my 5th National Day that i'm going to miss....
It just doesnt matter as much as it used to...

End of the three wks of torture..

Friends around me wld had heard bout me bitching bout my job especially so for the past 3 wks. Those who hasn't wld also know that i wasnt happy in that place. Finally, this friday marks the end of the 3 wks of pure torture.

The actual reason is because our line manager left our group leaving us with 3 perms and 3 contract staff at which 1 of the perm enter our grp later than me and the other 2 contracts are also newer than me. In other words, we were left to die. They said that our grp will has an increase of headcount to 9 from the current 6 because of the workload. So you shld be able to understand hw hard a time we had trying to do most stuff. Hence being over work and underpaid.

For the past 2 wks, we spend more than 10 hrs in the office each day trying to clear what shit we have. It was tough as we were inexperience. Our temporary head was over stress and hence did not has the best temper for the first 2 wks. We all had to take cover and put up with the flare. At the same time, we had to encourage each other and push each other when one is feeling dishearted and felt like giving up.

I almost sunk into depression on the 1st week and i was seriously depress and wanted out very much. But i cldnt bring myself to do it. Because i know the rest of us will die very badly. Life was bad to the point that i dread going to work yet i know i have to. So bad to the point that i wanted to just find an empty cubicle and cry my heart our. And sometimes, i'm glad that the windows are not able to open out otherwise i will be in the headlines already. Life was bad. And now we all hope that it will be better because our new line manager is coming on monday along with another new perm staff.

We, out small grp of 6 was full of laughter and jokes the whole day. We did our work but we talked, scream and laugh all the way till the point that we were so tired frm laughing too hard. The burden is finally off. We went for a celebration lunch at Pizza Hut being all girls and love chessy stuff, we had the chessy pizza. We had a long lunch and by the end of the meal, the food had already been digested as we were all laughing and laughing and laughing. It was the best day of the 3 wks that we had.

I learn one thing frm this 3 wks. That is, the more stressed or angry one is, the harder he/she should laugh. A big laugh cld really really release all the pent up frustration we have inside. And we will definetly feels better and less angry. Thats why i said that i have great colleagues who are there to squeeze a laugh out of me when i almost break. There are times that i got irritated by one/two of them but there will always be the other to ease the tension. Hence, i'm still here despite all the complaints i'd make.

Finally, able to relax now. Went for a Ktv session w some other contract staff just now. It was the funniest ktv session i ever had. Laugh, laugh, laugh all the way. By eleven, i was already half dead and i just sink into the sofa and watch the world go past.

I had fun today. Since a long long time. Hope i can wake up for memtoring tmr.

Nites.