Finally, another entry..

I know tt it had been a long time since i update the blog... Guess had been too busy w all sorts of things.. Like resting, lazing, watching drama, travelling, eating and accompanying my parents. Yes, at the moment, they are still here but will b leaving this sunday. It had been a long yet short month for me..

I lost 2 things this winter. Two things that matters a lot to me. So much that my heart hurts. I know that once they are gone, i will have lost them forever. I will never be able to get them back.

The first was my relationship with actuarial. I failed one subject this semester. Even though i know i screw up the paper but i still hope that i may still pass. But no, i didnt. That mark the end of my actuarial path. Even though i could still continue with the course if i am willing to repeat this subj next yr i didnt want to. I'm scare. Because of this failure, i have no confident that i can do well and pass all the other actuarial subjects next semester. So, i change to finance. I felt like i'd just been throught a breakup. An end of the relationship. A time to face the truth, ie i'm not as good as i think i am. Not suited for actuarial. I can't handle actuarial at all. But at least i'm glad that it lasted for so long. At least i was able to try out and learn lots of mathmatical stuff that i wont be able to learn if i did finance all the way. It made me sit back and think. Am i really such a failure? Everything i do never seems to be able to be completed. A's, driving, music, relationships... It seems like everything i do, i need to repeat it several more times before i can get it right. Isnt there anything i can manage without failing? I'm still finding out...

My second lost. It didnt create as much an impact as the first but it still hurts. They are my photos. I borrowed my brother's SD card which has a memory space of 1GB. I used it when my parents came over to Tassie. I took some picts of a sunrise. It wasnt the best nor very impressive so i wasnt very affected by them. But the other batch of picts that i took matters a lot to me. It took me a lot of sweat to obtain them. I need to ascend 600 steps to reach the lookout and i did it all alone. 600 steps wasnt much to most but the main reason i was willing to climb up there was to take pictures so, can u imagine my dissapointment when after snaping 30 over picts, the dig camera shows me that it cant use the card. The wineglass bay (http://www.tassie.org.au/freycinet/) lookout was the highlight of my Tassie trip and no matter how much changes have to be make to the iternaries, i will not allow for anything or anyone to disrupt my plans to visit the Freycinet National Park. Now, i just hope that my bro is able to retrieve the information in the card and save the picts for me. They really matters a lot to me.

~Tassie~

Tassie was good. I saw rainbows(lots of them in a day), snowing, never ending beaches, cheap oysters($5 for a dozen), beautiful desert wines and ermm.. lots of dead animal on the road. Got to know some nice people in Lauceston and went for a roadtrip with them.

They are really friendly people but i guess i could say that i shut them out. I was no longer the friendly ger whom people used to think i was. I'd become someone who couldnt be bother to make new friends because i know that they come and go. Years later, i will think of them and remember the wonderful times that we have but that will be all. Is this part of getting old? When i wont be bother to mixed around with people and make an effort to understand them more.

Guess i'm sick and tired of all these mingling stuff. The superfical-ness of things. I know that they are true but guess i'd encounter lots of 'otherwise' personals over the past few years that make me cold. People making use of one another to get what they wants. Kicking them aside when they have achieve it. Back stabbing their own friends or maybe i should say, backstabing their so called friends. Everyone always have a smile on their face when they first met, but its only a matter of time before a secret glance is made. Welcome to the grown up work u might say, but heck, i'm still in uni. WHy make things so complicating? How am i going to survive in the workforce next time? If i cant beat them arnt i sppose to join them? Or is there anyway to prevent meeting them?

Sigh, not in any mood to talk bout the Tassie trip. Shall upload some picts and like they always say, 'A picture speaks a thousand words.' Let my picts speak for me then..