Finding..

Theres so much i will like to pour out. But i dun noe where to start from.

I'm confused, once again. Having difficulties reorganising my thoughts.

I'd been thinking for a while. But i can't remember who.

Who is the person i used to talk to? The person whom i can bare out my heart and no need to hide my innermost feeling.

Who the hell is that person and where are you now??

'When i needed you most....'

Life

Changes..

I came to realise that as i grow older, the more things had change. There's nothing that can be done to stop/prevent these changes from taking place or shld i say, i do not have to the authority nor will to put a stop to changes.

There will always be a comfort zone in each person's heart. Somewhere where they are unwilling to step out from. Somewhere they will take for granted. My comfort zone is the things that make me think of my secondary school days. I had a wonderful time in rss and till now, i still miss the times i had over there. The sjab camps, OBS camp, National day rehersal parade, late nights out, walking rounds in the newly open CWP, simply said, those carefree days where nothing matters more than O's.

I get flashbacks every now and then. Esp when i'm stoning.

I wld see images of us dipping our feet in the water at suntec fountain of wealth at 11pm, when everyone had left, and we are soaking wet after running into the middle of the fountain, and listening to them sing under the stars.

I wld remember the sudden silence in starbucks@cwp after you let out a sharp scream when your coffee topple over.

I wld remember the late nites at the playground where we wld spend hours talking about anything under the skies, literally. And the tub of ice cream and the dessert spoons we bought to eat the ice cream. I still have mine, and whenever i see it, i will still remember the night. Do you?

I wld remember the trip we had. The long bus journey. The happy moments. Those photos we took. Those long conservations that never seem to end.

Now, we only take turns talking. Not communicating.

Now, we meet up to run errands.

Now, i do not feel as comfortable as before. I feel tired. And sometimes i dread it.

Am i expecting too much out of this friendship? Have i become too demanding?

How come sometimes i feel like giving up?

Will i? One day..

Tell me, how can i take things easy?

Some of the qns they asked..

I went for an MOE interview this noon. I was running late and all the cabs were hidding. I booked one in the end and it was the fastest and smoothest cabride i'd taken. Because it is an auto car. I reach the room and waited for almost an hour before my turn. While waiting, there was another guy who was there for the interview too. We chatted a little and i could see that he was really keen on teaching. Because i could sense the 'gentleness' when he talks about relief teaching. I hope i would see him again, in NIE.

Here are some of the qns they asked during the interview that lasted for about 10 mins.

Q: After being away for 3 yrs, how well do you know about the new educational system?
A: I went back to my sec sch for mentoring and i chatted with the TIC and learn quite a lot from her. Furthermore, my dad was a teacher and i know of most of the work that he had done.

Q: Why do you want to teach secondary students over primary school students?
A: I feel that i can relate to them better and i had a great time in my secondary sch, it was the best period thru out my edcuation years so i will want to do the same and let them enjoy it as much as i did.

Q: Will you jump over to greener pasture?
A: No. To begin with, the starting pay for what i'm working as now is already more than what i will get for being a teacher. Also, the increment for working in the finance industry will be better than a teacher. So, it won't be for the salary.

Q: How long do you see yourself working in this field?
A: I hope it will be forever.
Interviewer: 'FOREVER?'
Me: 'Yes. Forever.'

Seriously, i had never been more serious when i ans the last question.

Honestly, i hope they give me what i want.

Pray for me!

Its over, i'd just flush 1.3k down the drain.

Finally, after confessing to my parents yest, the paper is finally over. I told them that i'm going to fail the paper and I'M GOING TO. No joke.

At least its over. Now, i miss studying already. Wat bull. The paper was easier in e morning den aft lunch. Like what they always say, 'I wld have make it if i study.' Well, my reply will be, 'If you had study, you will realised how much didnt come frm wat u had study. Those who didnt study will think tt all e questions are frm the study material while those who did, will know they didn't.' So, thats all i'm gonna say. Waste money lor.. Idiot.

Now, i have so so so much things tt i wanna do. I wanna go drinking on friday nite. I wanna go swimming on my wkends (because i dun have any other free time). I wanna go shopping at the GSS which i'd missed for 3yrs. I wanna go roller blading. Damn.. Thats a lot of things to be done. But i foresee myself rotting at home aft giving tuition next wkend. I needa get a life.

During the 'studying period' which wasnt spend on studying but more on mental punishment. I didnt want to and cldnt make myself study, so i punish myself by staying home to rest. I deny myself the luxury to watch drama and i punish myself by watching tv. I have a weird way of thinking but thats my way of making myself feel less guilty for not doing the things that i shld have done. Seriously, what was i thinking of?

Sing and her sights..

Sunrise from my kitchen's window.

Sunset in Sing


Sing at nite.


Causeway at nite